Home Alone

5 years ago:
Steve was out of town or on a scout campout or something to where he was not sleeping at home that night. I hadn't stayed home alone with the kids in quite awhile, and never had in this house we recently moved into. I did my window and door check, set the security alarm, then went to check on each of the kids. I checked the girls, made sure they were breathing (you know you do it too). They were breathing so I went in Jackson's room to check on him. As I went into the room and was adjusting his blanket, I hear a weird, muffled, slow-motion, serial killer, 'I Know What You Did Last Summer' voice say, "Hello. May I help you?"

You can imagine how my heart stopped for about 10 seconds while a sheer cold panic spread from head to toe. I turned around and did the thing all the stupid people in those horror movies do. I went looking for The Voice.

As I was tip-toeing around, I heard it again, only more of a distorted Max Headroom voice this time.
"He-he-hello. May I he-help you-oo?"

I found The Voice in Jackson's toybox in the closet. It turned out to be a toy cell phone that one of the kids had thrown into the tub earlier so it was shorting out. I buried it under some clothes in the dresser and went to bed with a butcher knife under my pillow.

3 Years Ago:
I was home alone with the kids again for the same reason, a campout or something. I was doing the same routine, check doors and windows, set alarm, check kids, when all of a sudden I hear our computer start dialing up (pre DSL) to connect to the internet.

Sheer, cold panic again and instead of grabbing all the kids and getting out I did the stupid girl in the horror movie thing again and went looking to see what the deal was. I discovered our computer all connected to the internet.

I called my sister and had her on the phone while I did an entire house check (under beds, in closets, under the fridge, and in cabinets that even a small child couldn't fit into).

After the all clear, I unplugged the computer and went to bed with a butcher knife, flashlight, home phone, cell phone (both programmed to dial my neighbor with the touch of a button) and car keyless entry remote with the panic button side up under my pillow.

(Figured out later that the internet had already been connected and was in some kind of mode to re-dial and connect automatically if you got booted off.)

Last Night:
I was up reading late in the family room after everyone had gone to bed. When I finally went to bed, I turned off the light and went out of the room. As I was walking out I hear the hum of a toy motorcycle engine.

Not as much panic as the serial killer incident, but I stopped breathing for a second. I recognized the sound from a puzzle Justin got for Christmas that makes noises when you put the puzzle piece in the right spot. But just Who put the piece in the puzzle to make the motorcycle sound?

Of course I went to check and it turns out the puzzle is light-powered (I thought they were magnetized) so when I turned off the lights, the motorcycle revved up. I was a little on edge already because a few nights ago a police helicopter had been sweeping our neighborhood with a spotlight at 1 am for awhile, looking for someone on the run.

Anyway, no more butcher knives for me. I went to bed last night and slept soundly with my husband right next to me and a 9mm very nearby. Boy how times have changed.